The Thursday Titter VI

Lester Piggot is in the parade ring discussing race tactics with the horses trainer.
The trainer tells Lester 'This is the worst horse I have in training, the beast has had 23 races and finished last in all of them, if it doesn't win today the milkman will be using it for deliveries in the morning.'
Lester mounts up and takes the horse down to the start.
The race begins and Lester is thirty lengths last after half a furlong, he gives the horse an almighty backhander on the behind, nothing, he then gives him a series of sharp slaps down the shoulder, nothing, exasperated he gives the colt two wallops right on the bollocks.
The horse comes to a sudden stop, turns round to Lester and says 'For the love of God will you turn it in with that whip, I have to be up at half four in the morning to deliver the milk! '