New Years Eve Cash

Lets try and end what has been a winning month with one more visit to the payout counter.
The meeting at Uttoxeter gets the go ahead this morning and I like the look of Ban Uisce in the 2.10. The gelding has been raised in the weights for his Plumpton win in November but he likes to get his toe in – all three victories on soft or worse – and there has been a few quid for him this morning. Investing a couple of quid should pay for a large scotch or two to see in the New Year.
Happy New Year to you all and most importantly, be lucky

Who's Affraid Of The Big Bad Wolf

Down at Kempton this afternoon you could put the fear into the bookies and invest a couple of bob on Wolf Slayer. The filly has a big chance to follow up on her recent success in a six furlong maiden at Wolverhampton as she appears to be going in the right direction – also my little nephews middle name is Wolf (ask his mother) so what more of a tip do you need?
Be lucky

The Thursday Titter XIV

A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse's trainer meets him before the race and says, "All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, "ALLLLEEE OOOP!" really loudly in the horse's ear. Providing you do that, you'll be fine".

The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command. The race begins and they approach the first hurdle. The jockey ignores the trainer's ridiculous advice and the horse crashes straight through the centre of the jump. They carry on and approach the second hurdle. The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers "Aleeee ooop" in the horse's ear. The same thing happens-the horse crashes straight through the centre of the jump.

At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, "It's no good, I'll have to do it" and yells, "ALLLEEE OOOP!" really loudly. Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems. This continues for the rest of the race, but due to the earlier problems the horse only finishes third.

The trainer is fuming and asks the jockey what went wrong.

The jockey replies, "Nothing is wrong with me. It's this bloody horse. What is he -- deaf or something?" The trainer replies, "Deaf?? DEAF?? He's not deaf - he's blind!!!"

Big Names And Short Prices

Big Bucks should win the Long Walk at Newbury this afternoon in a canter but at 1-5 you aren’t going to get rich quick.
Over in Ireland we have some nice racing at Leopardstown but again at the prices you won’t be paying off the Christmas credit card bill.
Dirty Dozen member Zaidpour is out again and looks a good thing for the Future Champions Novice Hurdle at 12.50.
Hurricane Fly and Solwhit lock horns again in the 1.55 with both horses looking to put down a marker in the build up to the Champion Hurdle.
Current Champion two-mile chaser Big Zeb, the promising Golden Silver and top class novice chaser from last season Captain Cee Bee go at it in the 1.20.
We will know more about the Cheltenham prospects of them all after today.

The Thursday Titter XIII - Happy Christmas

All quiet for the next couple of days so dear reader wherever you may be in the world Happy Christmas, Glædelig Jul, Nodlig mhaith chugnat, Hristos Razdajetsja, Bozic, Boze Narodzenie, Sawadee Pee Mai or souksan wan Christmas, Linksmu Kaledu, Nadolig Llawen, Joyeux Noel, Kung His Hsin Nien bing Chu Shen Tan, Fröhliche Weihnachten............

A Preacher wanted to raise money for his church and, being told there were fortunes in race horses, he decided to purchase one and enter it in the races. However, at the local auction, the going price for horses was so steep he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races, and to his surprise the donkey came in third.
The next day the racing press carried the headlines, "Preacher's Ass shows"
The Preacher was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the races again and this time he won!
The papers said, "Preacher's Ass out in Front"
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Preacher not to enter the donkey in another race.
The newspaper printed this headline, "Bishop Scratches Preacher's Ass"
This was just too much for the Bishop and he ordered the Preacher to get rid of the animal. The Preacher decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent. The headlines the next day read, "Nun has the Best Ass in Town"
The Bishop fainted.
He informed the Nun that she would have to dispose of the donkey and she finally found a farmer who was willing to buy it for £10.00.
The paper states, "Nun Peddles Ass for Ten Quid"
They buried the Bishop the next day.

Gladiator Ready

Fantasy Gladiator was a winner for us on the 4^th December and I think the handicapper may not yet have caught up with the gelding. As stated before he so rarely runs a bad race a hat-trick looks on the cards in the 2.05 at Lingfield.

Be lucky

What's That Coming Over The Hill.....

What's that coming over the hill is it a monster, is it a monster?
Under the A.P. treatment Blue Monster gets up by a head at 10-1 to bolster the Christmas coffers very nicely thank you.

Jumpers Bumpers

Down at Kempton today we have the ‘Jumpers Bumpers’ National Hunt Flat day on the All Weather; no-one can ever accuse the team at Kempton of not being inventive.
There are some very interesting horses having a run-out such as the top class Noland in the 3.50 but a number of the races are tricky little events on paper with the well being of a number of runners having to be taken on trust or rumour.
One that catches the eye is Blue Monster in the 1.20. Reportedly bought for £80,000 by current connections in 2009 the bay gelding run a fair second on his hurdles debut back in May and with the assistance of newly crowned Sports Personality of the Year A.P. McCoy today he should be good enough to take this prize.
Be lucky

Winner By A Distance

With over two hundred and ninety three thousand votes (42%) fifteen times champion jump jockey A.P. McCoy wins the Sports Personality of the Year Award 2010. It was great to see such a wonderful Champion and dedicated hard working sportsman such as McCoy receive the accolade.
Congratulations

Pub It Is Then

The snow has well and truly come down again. Nothing to get involved with today so I would suggest find a pub with a decent fire and settle in for a large scotch or two.

Stay Loyal

Little unlucky yesterday with Swinging Sixties just getting caught in the shadow of the post at Meydan out in the U.A.E.
Over at Southwell today in the 1.45 Loyalty has every chance of continuing his fine run of form. He is due to raise four pound in the weights for future races so is nicely treated, the main worry being the change of surface; if this race was at Wolverhampton he would be odds-on. At a price of 6-4 early its hardly a get rich quick punt but the gelding should get the job done with the slightly longer trip likely to suit.
Be lucky

The Thursday Titter XII

Two disgruntled evidently losing punters had been consoling themselves in the bar and after the meeting were walking it off on the course.
'I don't know what these bloody jockeys get paid for' said the first punter, scowling at the nearest fence, 'Any bugger could jump these things, I could do it without a horse.'
'Go on then,' said his friend, peering owlishly through the gloom. 'Jump that one.'
The first punter took of his race glasses, took a run at the fence and cleared it with a foot to spare..........and........landed face first in the water!

Swinging Party – Today!

Now I have you attention you filthy, filthy people.
Sorry to mislead but it’s not that sort of party but you should be able to pay for a drink or six by backing Swinging Sixties out in the slighter warmer climes of Meydan this afternoon.
The former Michael Jarvis inmate now trained by Dhruba Selvaratnam in the U.A.E. ran a decent race in finishing second here two weeks ago and with the assistance or William Buick should be able to get his nose in front in the 5.45 Ford Fusion Trophy Handicap.
Be lucky

Twist Magic Put Down

Terrible news from Newbury concerning Twist Magic fracturing a fetlock and having to be put down following his fall, it is always very sad indeed to lose such a talented horse.
He could be more than a little quirky but had some talent and on a good day was up there with the best two-mile chasers of recent years. I was lucky enough to see him run at Ascot, Cheltenham and of course Sandown, a course which seemed to bring out the best in him, where he won two Tingle Creek chases.

Supreme or Neptune at Cheltenham For Zaidpour

Pretty impressive stuff from Zaidpour over the Irish Sea earlier today, pulling clear from his rivals as easy as you like at the last to win in very impressive fashion. He has been immediately shortened for the Supreme Novices and Neptune Investment Management Novices Hurdles at Cheltenham but trainer Willie Mullins was giving nothing away as to which race he is most likely to line-up in come March. Personally I would like to see him go for the Supreme, although I am a fan of Cue Card, it would be a cracking race.
The next target according to the trainer is likely to be the PaddyPower.com Future Champions Novice Hurdle at Leopardstown on 27th December.

A Jewell In The Emerald Isle

Girdys Gee Gees Dirty Dozen member Zaidpour is out in the Emerald Isle today running in the 12.20 at Fairyhouse. Following his tidy win at Punchestown in November the four-year-old takes the step up to Grade One level but is expected to take this Novice Hurdle on his way to bigger and better things later in the season.
Be lucky

Hong Kong Review

Mixed results from Hong Kong in the wee small hours at the weekend with Snow Fairy winning and Paco Boy getting beat.
Ryan Moore almost left it too late on the dual Oaks winner but she responded wonderfully to his encouragement and put in a terrific turn of foot to get up inside the final furlong to win by a neck. She has been brilliant all season and it would be great to see her back next season and a possible clash with Workforce in the King George is a real mouth watering prospect.
Paco Boy just didn’t seem his old self in the Hong Kong Mile at Sha Tin. He has been a marvellous performer on the track and will be sadly missed in the major mile events next season. All the best to the old boy in his new career at Stud.

Stocking Fillers

Some very good racing at Cheltenham today including the re-arranged Tingle Creek. Four of Girdys Dirty Dozen are out and I fancy all four to pass the post in front and add a few coppers more to the Christmas fund for the old stocking fillers.
I fancied Master Minded for the Tingle Creek anyway and now it is here at Cheltenham, a track Twist Magic is not suited too, I think the two time Champion should show he's class again today on the way to a crack at a third Champion Chase.
Cue Card was on just about every tipsters 'horses to follow list' and for good reason. The 3.05 is the geldings first big test but I am convinced he is something special and should be able to take this Grade Two event on his way to bigger things.
Zaynar runs in the 1.20 and is looking to make amends for a poor first time out effort this season. The grey won this race last year, and though the application of first time blinkers isn't necessarily a positive, he was top class last year and I am not giving up on him just yet.

Sam Winner runs in the 12.10. Installed as jolly for the Triumph Hurdle following his impressive victory at the Open Meeting here last month, if reproducing that form this afternoon Noel Fehily should have a nice armchair ride early doors before getting the leg up on Master Minded later.
Be lucky

A Win For Australia?

Finally we get a bit of action over the sticks again today with the Cheltenham meeting going ahead with some nice racing, a handful of tricky handicaps and of course the Cross Country race. I realise its not everybody’s cup of tea but I am a fan of the Cross Country races; if you ever get the chance to get into the middle of the track and get up close to the action I would thoroughly recommend it.
I am going to have a small investment on Sizing Australia.
Garde Champetre is obviously a past master of this game and has won this race twice, but at the weights and with the Bolger trained gelding not get any younger, I think the Henry De Bromhead eight-year-old might be able to get the better of his old rival on this occasion.
Be nice for Australia to get a win - have I mentioned the Ashes yet?
Be lucky
UPDATE: If that's not a sign I don't know what is - no sooner do I put a tip up than the race is abandonded! The meeting goes ahead but the Cross Country race is off due the the course being frozen which is a shame as it is a great spectacle and adds something to the meeting. The first fence on the chase course will be omitted due to ground conditions.

The Thursday Titter XI

One for the Aussies ;o)
A horse was looking over a fence watching a game of cricket. ‘Any chance of a game?’ he asked the captain.
At first the captain was taken aback by the talking horse, but when it insisted it was keen to play the skipper thought it might be a bit of a laugh if he sent the horse out as opening bat.
The horse shaped up to the first ball and slammed it over the boundary for six. He did the same with the second and third, indeed every ball he hit for six until the over ended.
He had been partnered by the captain, and when the bowler ran in from the other end and the captain managed his first hit for a meagre single he called for the horse to run. But the horse just stood there.
Frantic calls by the captain to run were ignored and in the confusion the skipper was stumped out.
‘Why didn't you run?’ roared the captain at his equine batting partner.
‘Listen mate,’ said the horse, ‘if I could run I would be at Ascot today, not messing around with this cricket game.’

Time To Strike

Nicely in front for December so far with three winners from five tips giving ole Girdy an £11.63 profit to a £1 level stake at the advised prices.
I go in search of a little more Christmas cash today at Wolverhampton with my fancy being Strike Force in the 3.50. The six-year-old likes it at Dunstall Park and has been in good form of late. Although getting high enough in the weights now he should have enough to take this little Handicap this afternoon.
Be lucky

Little Investment At Lingfield

Not a day to be lumping on with the cash but there are a couple of horses worth taking a look at down at Lingfield.
The 12.40 at Lingfield sees My Lord trying to complete a hat-trick on the back of his two victories at Wolverhampton last month. Kieren Fox was on board for those two victories, as he is today, and the gelding is a two-year-old going in the right direction.
In the 2.40 Norman Orpen is open to further improvement after finally opening his account last month having been running well in defeat up till then. I am hopeful the bay gelding will continue his winning ways now he has got his nose in front and should be good enough to take this little handicap.
Be lucky

You Saw Me Standing Alone

No I have not become a City fan - I like the look of Blue Moon in the 1.30 at Lingfield today. With Final Drive and Tevez both high enough in the weights now this looks like an opportunity for the Kevin Ryan trained grey filly to notch up a victory. I will be grabbing a bit of the 10-1 on offer from Victor Chandler.
Be lucky

Kempton In The Snow

Luckily we have some All Weather action to get our teeth into today and I will be trying to nick a couple of quid at Kempton and hopefully I have found a couple of winners to make up for missing the Tingle Creek.
Fantasy Gladiator rarely seems to run a bad race, always finishing there or thereabouts, and I see no reason why the gelding won't be there again today in the 3.10. He will be short enough price wise but looks a good thing to take this fairly standard handicap.
I like the look of Mia's Boy in the 3.40. The six-year-old was mixing it with some good horses last year and put up some decent efforts in Listed class earlier this season. The Dwyer trained bay looked to be coming back to form at Wolverhampton last time out and the drop back in trip today should suit.
Stay warm and be lucky

Tingle Off!

Gutted!
The annual lads day of beer, betting and boobies is off as Sandown announce the abandonment of racing on Saturday. Can't remember off the top of my head the last time I wasn't at Sandown for the first weekend in December.
What am I going to do?

All Weather Meeting Lost To The Weather

The All Weather meeting at Lingfield today has been abandoned due to heavy snowfall at the course although officials are hopeful of staging Fridays fixture; Wolverhampton does still go ahead today.
Down at Esher Sandown have been forced to cancel the planned meeting on Friday, first day of the Tingle Creek meet, after a further three inches of snow fell on the track overnight. An inspection concerning the Saturday meeting is expected later today and officials still hold out a little hope that they may be able to race but it must be odds against now.
The annual lads beer, betting and boobies day is looking more and more unlikely!

All Weather Fixture Could Be Lost To The Weather!

How bad can it get?
The ‘bonus’ All Weather meeting set to be held at Lingfield on Thursday is now subject of an early inspection on the day of racing. Apparently they have had eight inches of snow at the track and at the time of the report on Wednesday afternoon it was still snowing! An inspection will be held at 6am Thursday.

All Weather Only

The big freeze continues with all racing but the All Weather meeting at Kempton off today. The meeting at Wincanton tomorrow (Thursday) is also abandoned, following the earlier cancellation this week of meetings at Leicester and Market Rasen that were planned for Thursday leaving us with Wolverhampton and an extra fixture at Lingfield to provide tomorrows action.

Things are not looking any better for the racing on Friday and Saturday - Don't know what I am supposed to do if I am not at Sandown on Tingle Creek day for the annual lads beer, betting and boobies day out!